The lovely strangeness of New York

New York is a city that both absorbs and spits out the weirdest of all of us. It's easy to blend in, no one really looks directly at anyone. This weekend though, there were a few oddities that captured my attention. Like the woman on the subway, her face buried in the neck of her coat, not looking at anyone, and talking to herself in what sounds like Czech or Russian. The guy I saw twice in my neighborhood with a purple tinged topknot. Yesterday he was just dressed oddly. Today, he was in a black leotard and tights, running up 1st Ave, looking for all the world like a bizarre version of Justin Timberlake in the SLN Beyonce parody. It's just odd that I saw him twice in two days.

Subway Love #5

They must have been in their mid 80's, a well dressed pair in that dignified Upper East Side way. He held her hand as they got on the train. A young man got up, offering his seat, and the husband led the wife over and settled her in. They never spoke, the whole way from 77th to Grand Central, where he took her hand again and helped her out of her seat, and then they were off, holding hands.

Subway Love #4

Standing outside the subway entrance on 86th St, in the early morning hours, a young couple, probably early 20's. They were both dressed for the office in that young career sort of way. For some reason I noticed that he had large feet, planted firmly on either side of her tiny shoes. They where holding each other, kissing passionately, eyes closed in ignorance of the streaming early morning foot traffic around them. As I passed them, he was pressing his lips to her forehead, her face relaxed in happiness.

Disfunctional subway

Strange night on the trip home tonight. Coming into the 23rd St subway, a muttering man was crawling under the turnstile, in full sight of the station attendant. I went through after him, watching him wander up and down the platform, his voice rising and falling against the subway walls. I went back out the turnstile, and went to ask the attendant if she would call someone to help him, maybe see if he needed medical attention. I have this irrational paranoid tingle about people throwing themselves off the platform too. The attendant, sitting under the "if you see something, say something sign" refused to help, saying there was nothing she could do. Of course there was, she just chose not to. As I went back to the turnstill, there was a girl there, maybe 19, 20, standing at the entrance, softly asking for help as people passed. Part of me wanted to stop and ask her what she needed. Part of me, that empathetic-less part, pushed me back through the turnstile. A few minutes later I saw her on the platform, angry, spitting at the train as it passed, reaching her fingers out to the rushing cars. And the cold part of me turned away.

What was that all about?

Two women fighting like screetching cats on the subway tonight. I went out of my pattern, walking north to Grand Central, then picking up dinner at the market there, then catching the express uptown. As I got on, two women were by the door on the lead end of the train, screaming at the top of their lungs. I couldn't figure out what the problem was, though it seemed like one of the women wanted the other to give up her seat and it escalated. One, a thin, thin Indian woman, ripped off her jacket, throwing it on the ground as though she were about to start a prize fight. The other, a short black woman with tight braids, sitting the whole time, screaming loudly. I moved to the other end of the train, trying to stay out of the fray. Other passengers looked in in glee, a couple of guys egging them on. The conductor came out of his cubby, adding to the chaos and noise, just screaming, not really doing anything useful. And all the while, I sat at the other end of the train. And did nothing.

Not Subway Love

In the morning, the 6 train is often a horrible mess. Trains are packed, I wait and wait, only to find that sometimes there are too many people packed in to get on. Then two more trains will come in rapid succession, and sometimes the train switches to express after 33rd St, because of traffic ahead, and I have to walk the 12 blocks to the office. Not a big deal, but I just don't understand why the trains can't be timed better. Also, I regularly amazed at the trains that come with loads of room in the middle of the car, dozens of people crammed at the entrance, no one willing to give way at the entrance to make room for more riders. What the hell is wrong with people? Sometimes I push my way through and stand self-rightously in the middle of the car. People glare after I've pushed by, but I just glare right back. Feel the love people.

Subway Love #3

I got on the 4 train uptown tonight after work. There's a couple already on, probably mid-20's. She's got brown hair cut into a cute bob, clipped out of her face with a crystal barrett. He's a bit scruffy, blondish stubble, ski cap, boyish face. As I get on the train, she's sitting, he stands in front of her, and as I pass them, he caresses her face. She looks up and smiles shyly at me, and then at him. She has a cluster of bags in her lap, and I can see their fingers entwined among the bag handles. When they get to 59th Street, he slips the bag handles into his hand and lifts them from her lap, carrying them before her as they leave the train. Peace babies.

Subway Love #2

The woman who colors my hair told me this story. She's Russian, and her husband is Brazilian, and one day I asked how they met. Five years before, on September 23rd, she was riding the subway from home to work in midtown. She spotted him on the train, exchanging looks as they rode uptown. After a while, she fished a business card out, planning to give it to him as she got off the train. But he got off at her stop, stopped, took her hand and introduced himself. "Have a drink with me" he said. She was working that day. He would wait, he said. And he did. Months later, he wanted to move in together, but she wasn't sure she was ready. They argued, and he left. Days passed and he didn't call, and she resigned herself that it was over. Then, late one night, he called. "Look out your window." She did, and he was there, standing with a single lily in hand. Two years later they were married.

Subway Love #1

A few mornings ago, a Chinese couple rode the 6 train with me. The train emptied at Grand Central, and I noticed them, quiet on the other end of the car. She sat, while he stood in front of her, both staring straight ahead with the morning-commute glaze. As we approached 23rd St., he spoke to her. Her face lifted, and he leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead. For a moment, they seemed caught in their own world. When we arrived at the station, he touched her face for a moment, then was gone.

25 Things About Me

1) I have a real emotional connection to food and cooking. When I want to show someone that I like them, I invite them over and cook for them, and when I’m feeling blue, I like to spend the day in the kitchen with a warm oven and the smell of baking in the air. 2) I lived in the same house pretty much the first 28 years of my life. Then I lived in 13 places over the next 12 years. As I write that, I realize how unsettled my life has been, driven mostly by jobs and relationships. I’ve been in the same place for almost three years, and I feel like I’ve found my home here in New York. 3) In 1995 I moved from Atlanta to New York for the first time. I didn’t know a soul here, and I spent a couple of years figuring out who I was and how to make friends. Running clubs and golf became ways to meet people, and I also learned how to be alone. 4) I work to support my travel habit. I caught the travel bug late in life, but it has a strong hold on me. Sometimes I like to travel alone, set my own agenda, find my own way. Sometimes the sharing makes the adventure sweeter, but it has to be the right travel partner. 5) Given the choice between the new and the familiar, I’ll take the new almost every time. 6) Giving back is really important to me. I volunteer with New York Cares (shout-out!) as much as I can. I don’t like giving money to people on the street, but more than once I’ve ducked in a shop and bought water and snacks for someone begging. 7) Materialism is a real turn off for me. Don’t get me wrong, when I buy something, I try to make it the best I can afford, but I can’t stand people who define themselves by their THINGS. 8) I am a runner. It’s part of who I am. I have a drawer full of running things, shoes strewn on the floor, headsets draped over doorknobs, a constant nudge to get out there. I’ve done five marathons, a handful of halves and a bunch of 10Ks and 5Ks. 9) I eat vegetarian about 60% of the time, eat fish and chicken about 30% of the time, and, every now and then, I give in to bacon and a really great rare steak. 10) I’m adopted. I know a bit about my biological parents, but I don’t really have an urge to find them. Though sometimes, I’d like them to know that things turned out okay. A few years ago I learned for the first time that I was born in Nashville, after thinking that I was from Albany GA. I had two names before I was Karen, one my biological mother gave me, and one the foster home gave me. Let’s just say my mother was a hippie. 11) My first job with at Showbiz Pizza, a sort of down-market Chuckie Cheese. Because I was tall, sometimes I had to be Billie Bob the Bear. My second job was working at a graphic design shop in Atlanta, which, unbeknownst to me, would be the beginning of my current career, the result of a strange, but somehow logical journey. 12) I’m a quiet extrovert. I dread going to parties but always get a second wind once I’m there. But I almost always leave before the dancing on the tables begins. Almost always. 13) I’m incredibly impatient. More than once I’ve walked away from a checkout line, forgoing some potential much-loved purchase because I don’t want to wait in line. Yeah, I’m working on that one. 14) A few years ago I discovered that I loved speaking in public. Who knew? 15) I can be trusting and naïve, and then I can be cynical and savvy. I’m more comfortable in my trusting skin, but the cynical side has served me well. 16) I used to live a life of “I want to” and “I should’s.” Then I finished my MBA and my first marathon in the same week, and realized that I can. 17) My brother was a bit of an alien creature to me when I was younger. Then I dated one of his best friends when I was in college and we ended up spending a lot of time together, and I discovered what a cool guy he was. Now he's one of my favorite people, and not just because he's my brother. I'm in awe of his smarts and his dedication to his family and friends. 18) I love to swim, but don’t know how to dive. I am, however, physically equipped for an awesome cannonball. 19) A perfect day for me includes a great cup of coffee, a good run, time with the newspaper, connecting with friends and a good meal with a sublime wine. I’m currently in love with Montepulciano. 20) I used to hate my height, which made me stand out and look different from everyone else. Now I love my height, which makes me stand out and look different from everyone else. 21) I adore my niece and nephew so much it takes my breath away sometimes, I think they are little miracles. I’ve got friends who have amazing kids who I love, love, love. That being said, I’m still not convinced that I want any of my own. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, c’est la vie. 22) I’ve working on writing more lately. I keep a blog, where I can practice and stretch and re-write. I’m working on poetry, and thinking about trying to be published. I’m also starting a blog about love stories I see on the subway, an optimistic piece. 23) I’m an early riser, but I’m not a morning person. My mind is sharp first thing in the morning, but so is my attitude. 24) There are three things that are ALWAYS in my house – coffee, milk for coffee and TP. Pretty much everything else is optional. 25) I pretty much love my life. I’ve got a great job that I love, I live in a city that feeds my soul, I’m fortunate enough to be healthy, and I’ve got great friends here. I miss friends and family in Atlanta, but I like to think they’ll always be there when I need them.